Working For The Weekend

It is only Tuesday and I am ready for it to be Friday.

Conversation I had today with a Customer

CC: I need to use your bathroom.
Me: I'm sorry. We don't have a public restroom but you can go next door or to the Library.
CC: I will pee my pants if you don't let me use the restroom.
Me: Sorry I still can't let you use it. Health Code Violation.
CC: I need six loaves of light wheat and I would like slice of bread.

A couple minutes pass. He pays for his stuff. We begin again.

CC: I have to use you restroom. You don't understand. I HAVE to. I will pee on your floor.
Me: Honestly I can't let you. As I said there is a restroom next door.
CC: Did you hear me I will PEE on your floor.
Me:(In my head) Awesome. I hope you do. It will be a lot more embarrassing for you.

Working. So awesome.

On a side note, another customer thought I was on drugs. Even when I insisted I don't do drugs, they were convinced I did. 'Why won't you tell me what drugs you are on?'. Sigh. Work. It's my favorite.

People Keep Asking, Asking Me Questions

I have been asked if I have started learning Spanish. Does listening to Enrique Iglesias album Quizas count? He is from Spain.


P.S. If you want to test your knowledge about Spain, take this quiz! I didn't do so hot.

Usually I Am The One Leaving, Not The One Left Behind

I took Emily to school today. Which is exciting for her, but a little sad for me.

I mean, when I do the spider scream, who will know to coming running with the vacuum?

Ly-Ly, I hope you have the best time at school. Just know that when you come home for the weekend, you will have to make up for all the hours lost entertaining me. Cause I really need my entertainment.

Waste of Time

Dear Federal Government,

Thanks for the 5 bucks. Hope it didn't put too much of a dent in your wallet!

Sincerely,
Melissa

P.S. Good thing I e-filed. I would have felt bad about killing trees for that amount.

Where I Admit I Am Completely Heartless And Have No Soul

I have a history of laughing during the sad parts of movies. It annoys quite a few people but I can't help it. I mean I laughed when Maude died(sorry Em). Heartless.

Which leads me to wonder why I thought I would be able to take The Last Song seriously. Which I couldn't. Two things made this movie utterly hilarious. 1. Miley Cyrus and 2. Liam Hemsworth's clothes.

Every time she cried, I laughed. Plus she talks like she has something in her mouth.

Since I couldn't find a photograph of his best outfit, I recreated it. Honestly, I should have been an artist.

I mean for goodness sake the guy was wearing the deepest v-neck I had ever seen. I laughed for a while over that one. All while the girls behind me cried. Soulless. Heartless.

If you are in the mood for a laugh, you should see this.

Teen romance+Death+Nicholas Sparks=Hilarity

This Is No Joke

It came!

Spain Barcelona

August 18th