Everything Is Just So Fancy

Right now I am at the Seminary, typing on my Dad's tablet. It has only taken me like 5 minutes to write these 2 sentences. It is a slow and steady process. I am trying not to say at every moment 'oh my goodness how things have changed'. Difficult. I am beginning to understand how Rip Van Winkle felt. Minus the long white beard. I have watched Tangled and read Mockingjay, so I think I am pretty caught up on what I missed.

Anything else I need to know, watch or read...from the last 18 months? Also I need to decide what to do with my future....any suggestions?

If You Get Murdered I'll Avenge Your Death

Last Summer, I hit a cat while riding my scooter.

Last week, while riding my scooter, I saw four cats sitting, staring at me from the middle of the road.

Last night, I had a dream that a cat was attacking my foot.

I think they are out to Avenge their friend.

Working For The Weekend

It is only Tuesday and I am ready for it to be Friday.

Conversation I had today with a Customer

CC: I need to use your bathroom.
Me: I'm sorry. We don't have a public restroom but you can go next door or to the Library.
CC: I will pee my pants if you don't let me use the restroom.
Me: Sorry I still can't let you use it. Health Code Violation.
CC: I need six loaves of light wheat and I would like slice of bread.

A couple minutes pass. He pays for his stuff. We begin again.

CC: I have to use you restroom. You don't understand. I HAVE to. I will pee on your floor.
Me: Honestly I can't let you. As I said there is a restroom next door.
CC: Did you hear me I will PEE on your floor.
Me:(In my head) Awesome. I hope you do. It will be a lot more embarrassing for you.

Working. So awesome.

On a side note, another customer thought I was on drugs. Even when I insisted I don't do drugs, they were convinced I did. 'Why won't you tell me what drugs you are on?'. Sigh. Work. It's my favorite.

Waste of Time

Dear Federal Government,

Thanks for the 5 bucks. Hope it didn't put too much of a dent in your wallet!

Sincerely,
Melissa

P.S. Good thing I e-filed. I would have felt bad about killing trees for that amount.

This Is No Joke

It came!

Spain Barcelona

August 18th

Matchy-Matchy Twins

Sometimes when I see that Emily is wearing her gray pants, I go and put on my gray pants. Just so I can match her.

Luckily No One Broke a Leg

Left Behind

Monday morning when my Mom drove me to work, we kept noticing all these clothes strewn in the road. We started wondering why there were clothes in the middle of the road all.over.town.

Me- 'Maybe it was the Rapture.'
Mom- 'Why were all those people in the middle of the road? At night?'

We decided if it was indeed the Rapture, then we were left behind. At least we were left behind together.

Later Mom decided that the clothes were scattered by a woman scorned. That is as awesome as the Rapture.