If You Get Murdered I'll Avenge Your Death

Last Summer, I hit a cat while riding my scooter.

Last week, while riding my scooter, I saw four cats sitting, staring at me from the middle of the road.

Last night, I had a dream that a cat was attacking my foot.

I think they are out to Avenge their friend.

Sweeter Than Candy

Kimber, Me and Devin...with a balloon

Kimber to Me- 'You are candy and I'm gonna eat you up!'

So What If It Came Out Last Year. It Is My Favorite Movie Of This Year

I have watched The Young Victoria like 5 times in the last four days. And had the soundtrack on repeat. Obsessive much? But it is good. So good. So good.

May May May

Can I say how glad I am it is May? Well, I am. Why? There are a couple reasons. A visit from my lovely Rachel, Devin coming home(!), visits from Emily, birthdays and hopefully, hopefully some good summer weather.

Yes!!

Working For The Weekend

It is only Tuesday and I am ready for it to be Friday.

Conversation I had today with a Customer

CC: I need to use your bathroom.
Me: I'm sorry. We don't have a public restroom but you can go next door or to the Library.
CC: I will pee my pants if you don't let me use the restroom.
Me: Sorry I still can't let you use it. Health Code Violation.
CC: I need six loaves of light wheat and I would like slice of bread.

A couple minutes pass. He pays for his stuff. We begin again.

CC: I have to use you restroom. You don't understand. I HAVE to. I will pee on your floor.
Me: Honestly I can't let you. As I said there is a restroom next door.
CC: Did you hear me I will PEE on your floor.
Me:(In my head) Awesome. I hope you do. It will be a lot more embarrassing for you.

Working. So awesome.

On a side note, another customer thought I was on drugs. Even when I insisted I don't do drugs, they were convinced I did. 'Why won't you tell me what drugs you are on?'. Sigh. Work. It's my favorite.

People Keep Asking, Asking Me Questions

I have been asked if I have started learning Spanish. Does listening to Enrique Iglesias album Quizas count? He is from Spain.


P.S. If you want to test your knowledge about Spain, take this quiz! I didn't do so hot.

Usually I Am The One Leaving, Not The One Left Behind

I took Emily to school today. Which is exciting for her, but a little sad for me.

I mean, when I do the spider scream, who will know to coming running with the vacuum?

Ly-Ly, I hope you have the best time at school. Just know that when you come home for the weekend, you will have to make up for all the hours lost entertaining me. Cause I really need my entertainment.

Waste of Time

Dear Federal Government,

Thanks for the 5 bucks. Hope it didn't put too much of a dent in your wallet!

Sincerely,
Melissa

P.S. Good thing I e-filed. I would have felt bad about killing trees for that amount.

Where I Admit I Am Completely Heartless And Have No Soul

I have a history of laughing during the sad parts of movies. It annoys quite a few people but I can't help it. I mean I laughed when Maude died(sorry Em). Heartless.

Which leads me to wonder why I thought I would be able to take The Last Song seriously. Which I couldn't. Two things made this movie utterly hilarious. 1. Miley Cyrus and 2. Liam Hemsworth's clothes.

Every time she cried, I laughed. Plus she talks like she has something in her mouth.

Since I couldn't find a photograph of his best outfit, I recreated it. Honestly, I should have been an artist.

I mean for goodness sake the guy was wearing the deepest v-neck I had ever seen. I laughed for a while over that one. All while the girls behind me cried. Soulless. Heartless.

If you are in the mood for a laugh, you should see this.

Teen romance+Death+Nicholas Sparks=Hilarity

This Is No Joke

It came!

Spain Barcelona

August 18th

Matchy-Matchy Twins

Sometimes when I see that Emily is wearing her gray pants, I go and put on my gray pants. Just so I can match her.

Fun Fact #1

Richard, from Lost, does not in fact wear eyeliner. He has naturally dark eyelashes, which caused him to be teased as a child.

Just in case you were wondering.

I was.

Welcome Spring!

On Saturday(the first day of Spring!), we spent some time in the sunshine. Soccer, sidewalk chalk, badminton and sunburns!

I wrote some song lyrics on the sidewalk. Then Sarah copied it, with her own personal touches. bahaha.

Mine

Sarah's

Seriously that girl kills me.

Zoo-we Mama

2 Months, 60 Days, 1450 hours and 87032 minutes

Honestly Honestly

This is amazing. Can you image how Awesome it would be to get this postcard in the mail? Super Awesome!

And the Oscar Goes To

As I have said, I have been having some bizarre dreams lately.

Like Robert Pattinson winning an Oscar for Twilight. He cried. And cried some more. I guess he was just happy. And surprised. As he should have been.

Sorry R.Pattz. Maybe next time. Or never

Dressed Up In Ribbons and Pearls

I made a dress!

disregard the dirty bathroom

I Like You...Even Though You Are Mad

1- I have been feeling really happy this week. Which is a nice change.

2- Dentist tomorrow. If I was really productive I could finish my mission papers in the next three weeks!

3-I started cleaning my closet. Why can't I seem to throw anything away?

4- Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging is a hilarious movie. I can't stop laughing about it. As is the book. I love British teen humor.

5- This cute guy has come into Great Harvest twice this week. Maybe I should give him a free cookie...

6-My birthday was awesome.

7- I have a crush on the Canadian ice dancer Scott Moir. I just can't help it.

8- I have been listening to a lot of Celine.

End.

Gonna Party Like It's Your Birthday

Taking My Narcissism To New Levels

On Saturday, I am throwing myself a birthday party. An 80s-tastic dance party.

What essential 80s songs must I play?